Life is messy and if it is not then you are most obviously doing something wrong.
We are messy creatures by nature,
I remember when I was much younger and always wanted to help my mom cook. She knew that it would be more work to let me and my brother help, all the extra cleaning, time and effort to show us how to do things and adapting to the many mistakes we would make. She would always let us help and take time out of her busy schedule and give us the freedom to make mistakes and learn. I love the fact that she never let a messy kitchen, an extra job, a possible bad meal stop us.
God provides us the freedom to be messy and to make mistakes, to explore and discover and to do this with the knowledge that He will guide and teach us.
Being a fairly new christian at the time I had a lot of bad habits to work on and SOOOOO much to learn. Who is God and what he did for us; what it means to be a christian (that's a lifetime of learning); building a relationship with God, someone I cant visibly see or audibly hear, even though I trusted and opened up to no one; doing things I would never do; walking away from worldly folly (not as easy as I thought it would be) and to do all of this as a human?
But God knows us and knows we are a fallen people, he created us. Sometimes our expectations far exceed what we can actually achieve without getting a little messy... but you know what, God knows that.
When I was younger I was always afraid of failing at things... I was very self conscious and insecure about who I was and what I stood for. I did not participate much in sporting activities and stayed out of being noticed. Needless to say I did not learn much during my primary school years. I did not do a whole lot, I did not become more confident in myself, I did not grow.
I met God during my second year of varsity and lets just say He had some work to do. I was still young, silly, and filled with unhandled emotions. I was a wreck, but no challenge is too big for God.
I had a lot to learn and even with God on my side it was to be a messy journey. I hurt many people close friends, old friends, new friends, girlfriends, and most of all God. I was bound by the need to be accepted and I was frozen with fear as to what letting my emotions show would cause. I feared that I was too damaged for God to fix, I sense He was smiling while I was thinking that. I have asked for freedom from these things and at every occasion God had offered a solution.... Step out of the boat, trust me and don't be afraid to make mistakes. I remember very clearly the first time I went forward to be prayed for for my fear of speaking in crowds, the very next day I was asked to share my testimony in front of the whole church two days later. My first thought was run but I did it and yes it was scary and yes I made many mistakes and embarrassed myself but as any loving family they encouraged me and congratulated me and supported me. Without the love of those in the church which is the Love of God I still would not be able to speak in a crowd. There have been many more occasions similar to this but I wont bore you with the details.
I have come to realise that we are all messy in our own way and we all need grace and love and support. Its not always easy to be the love of God because we don't allow God to love us first. How can one know how to love if he/she has not been loved first and who better to show you the way than the creator of love, the one who is Himself love. We need to humble ourselves in order to learn to be guided and to make mistakes.
So as God guides us down a messy path known as life we will meet others that are too messy. Don't be afraid we are all messy even the ones that seem to have it all together. We all will make a mess and get it wrong.
I want you to know that God loves you exactly as you are rags and all and only He can help you, teach you, guide you to a less messy lifestyle that we may be able to help those around us that too are messy and need our help.
Don't be scared, get out the boat, get wet, but know that God will not let you drown.
Much love
Dani D
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