Good evening to those of you who share the same timezone as me.
This topic has been on my mind for quite some time now but I just was not sure why and today I received the missing puzzle piece which makes it all make sense. I was recently, the last three months, not really at home much. In total it could have added up to three weeks but most likely less. This was also not a constant three weeks either, rather a few days her an afternoon there. When this happens cleaning is not the first thing that comes to mind. And after the three month period I had realised I still had not cleaned up and upon closer inspection I found cobwebs and enough dust to make an item of clothing out of it. This is when I get very motivated and do a complete clean. It is however an all day ordeal and is quite hard work.
I noticed this was the same problem in my personal life, I had people who had said something to hurt me and I just left it undealt with, there were people I had hurt and I ran from the confrontation, and then there are those people who just need an explanation and some feedback and I would avoid them like the plague.
One such situation was between me and my boss, there was some misunderstandings and some long overdue items which I was responsible for. I had recently finished them but failed to report this properly to him. Id like to call all the occurrences over the last few weeks a series of unfortunate events as things were completed but just not shown somewhere. However my boss is a very forward guy who loves confrontation and is all about sharing his opinion. Me....not so much. So what happened was that he voiced his opinion in an email and I ran for the hills......ok it was not that drastic but nevertheless I avoided his office, hoping it would just go away I guess.
These situations are much like the uncleaned house because after a while these areas start to form cobwebs. Yes he may let this one slide or merely forget to follow up on it because its a small item, but sooner or later you will make another mistake, forget something, misinterpret something and then not only do the past memories of poor communication come up, so do all the emotions behind them because they were not dealt with. This happened to me two days ago and my boss scheduled a meeting for the same day for employee discipline, the next unfortunate event was that I was not in the office.....how stupid and ashamed I felt when I got back into the office that evening and saw that meeting notification. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. But I knew what I had to do so I rescheduled it with some comments/excuses for why I missed it and then basically sucked it up, took a deep breath and sent it out.
Yesterday I had the meeting and it was tough, I had to hear the things I need to work on, and the things that I have failed at. Its never easy to hear one's weaknesses.
It was a hard thing to discuss and it hurt at times, not that he attacked me intentionally but we are emotional beings and sometimes past experiences make you your sensitive to certain things...anyway what I want to get at is that after that conversation we could both smile laugh a bit and I left his office and said thank you. It was a clearing out of the cobwebs. Yes the past experiences will still probably come up but at least it will not have behind it all the emotions which were not dealt with. I am glad tio have a boss who is so forward and confrontational because I am not one of those people and I can learn so much from him.
Another relationship that so often suffers from the same cobwebs is the relationship between us and God, we do things we know are wrong and then we try and hide it from God, we hide from God and we tell ourselves it will go away. God loves us in a way that we will never be able to comprehend but this does not mean that the relationship can be a one sided deal. Relationships take effort and openness from both sides. We cannot expect our relationship with God to grow when we are hiding from Him. We need to admit the things we do and talk about them and ask for forgiveness and I will say that at times I find it very beneficial to speak out loud, I find it helps make it more tangible.
So even in our private lives we need to do the same clean up and this is hard but the results far outweigh the little of discomfort that you will have to endure.
So in conclusion I have learnt yesterday that communication is very very VERY important in any relationship, dont wait for things to come to you but rather tackle them head on and be bold and brave and confront the monsters in the closet, and above all things love is what makes relationships meaningful....so do it =)
Its never how hard you work or how many things you, cause as human beings we will fail eventually at something, rather live a life of openness with God and the people around you.
Live, Love, Laugh
Much love Danny
This topic has been on my mind for quite some time now but I just was not sure why and today I received the missing puzzle piece which makes it all make sense. I was recently, the last three months, not really at home much. In total it could have added up to three weeks but most likely less. This was also not a constant three weeks either, rather a few days her an afternoon there. When this happens cleaning is not the first thing that comes to mind. And after the three month period I had realised I still had not cleaned up and upon closer inspection I found cobwebs and enough dust to make an item of clothing out of it. This is when I get very motivated and do a complete clean. It is however an all day ordeal and is quite hard work.
I noticed this was the same problem in my personal life, I had people who had said something to hurt me and I just left it undealt with, there were people I had hurt and I ran from the confrontation, and then there are those people who just need an explanation and some feedback and I would avoid them like the plague.
One such situation was between me and my boss, there was some misunderstandings and some long overdue items which I was responsible for. I had recently finished them but failed to report this properly to him. Id like to call all the occurrences over the last few weeks a series of unfortunate events as things were completed but just not shown somewhere. However my boss is a very forward guy who loves confrontation and is all about sharing his opinion. Me....not so much. So what happened was that he voiced his opinion in an email and I ran for the hills......ok it was not that drastic but nevertheless I avoided his office, hoping it would just go away I guess.
These situations are much like the uncleaned house because after a while these areas start to form cobwebs. Yes he may let this one slide or merely forget to follow up on it because its a small item, but sooner or later you will make another mistake, forget something, misinterpret something and then not only do the past memories of poor communication come up, so do all the emotions behind them because they were not dealt with. This happened to me two days ago and my boss scheduled a meeting for the same day for employee discipline, the next unfortunate event was that I was not in the office.....how stupid and ashamed I felt when I got back into the office that evening and saw that meeting notification. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. But I knew what I had to do so I rescheduled it with some comments/excuses for why I missed it and then basically sucked it up, took a deep breath and sent it out.
Yesterday I had the meeting and it was tough, I had to hear the things I need to work on, and the things that I have failed at. Its never easy to hear one's weaknesses.
It was a hard thing to discuss and it hurt at times, not that he attacked me intentionally but we are emotional beings and sometimes past experiences make you your sensitive to certain things...anyway what I want to get at is that after that conversation we could both smile laugh a bit and I left his office and said thank you. It was a clearing out of the cobwebs. Yes the past experiences will still probably come up but at least it will not have behind it all the emotions which were not dealt with. I am glad tio have a boss who is so forward and confrontational because I am not one of those people and I can learn so much from him.
Another relationship that so often suffers from the same cobwebs is the relationship between us and God, we do things we know are wrong and then we try and hide it from God, we hide from God and we tell ourselves it will go away. God loves us in a way that we will never be able to comprehend but this does not mean that the relationship can be a one sided deal. Relationships take effort and openness from both sides. We cannot expect our relationship with God to grow when we are hiding from Him. We need to admit the things we do and talk about them and ask for forgiveness and I will say that at times I find it very beneficial to speak out loud, I find it helps make it more tangible.
So even in our private lives we need to do the same clean up and this is hard but the results far outweigh the little of discomfort that you will have to endure.
So in conclusion I have learnt yesterday that communication is very very VERY important in any relationship, dont wait for things to come to you but rather tackle them head on and be bold and brave and confront the monsters in the closet, and above all things love is what makes relationships meaningful....so do it =)
Its never how hard you work or how many things you, cause as human beings we will fail eventually at something, rather live a life of openness with God and the people around you.
Live, Love, Laugh
Much love Danny
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