Say what you need to say

I was drifting off while going for one of the first runs of the year, one where I was not concentrating so hard just to stay conscious due to the cold weather, and I came to a point of realisation that we as humans say things we don't mean and things we shouldn't say. We ramble off about something and divert from what we really need to say, or we just make it so complicated that no one can understand.

Well I am an expert in this.... I remember when writing an exam I would answer every question with as much text as I could in the hopes that I would say the right thing, eventually. And I wandered... do I do the same thing while talking to people. Do I concentrate so hard on saying the right thing that I am no longer saying what I want to say but rather what the other person wants to hear. I know I do this with my boss when he asks me about something and its not going so good I would stretch the truth to make it sound better than it really was. And then I thought about some of my relationships and there it was too, why did I worry so much about what I was saying than rather saying it and getting on with it. Is there a point where you care too much about someones feelings that it can be dangerous and hurtful in the end?

We sometimes worry so much about what we are saying we don't allow ourselves to ourselves. We become whatever the person wants, we become puppets and the worst thing is that the other person doesn't even want that. Who wants a person who only opinion is "whatever you think". We want a person who can think for themselves and make decisions for themselves and have their own opinions. We are all different and need to become more accepting of that fact as well as become more aware when we hide behind this need to feel accepted by carefully orchestrating every sentence.

I want more than that I want to be me. Imagine being someone else for the rest of your life..... One of the you's will have to die a slow quiet and sad death..... A death of malnutrition, starvation. If you dont use it you loose it. God created you as you are so don't hide that, embrace that and be who you aught to be, thus saying what you need to say to hold onto your identity.

I did get a bit off road there but it was important. Sometimes get a bit messy =)

So when someone asks you what you think, think twice not to check what the person would want you to say but to make sure that you aren't.

This also screams out loud in the speed in which we react and this too is wrong. We need to say what we need to/have to say and that's it. So many times I have heard people be completely honest and then not stop and in the end you were honest but you potentially ended a friendship or worse a relationship. I am all for honesty, this does not mean I'm the expert, but there is a way to say it and A WAY TO SAY IT.

So rather than thinking about what the other person wants me to say, rather think about how your answer can reflect your honest opinion as well as placing it in a loving tone/way.

So for my own life myself and God do have quite a bit of work to mend the brokenness inside of me. I was not perfect to begin with but anything I can see and act on is a battle won in the eyes of God =)

May honesty lead you and love follow closely behind.