So I recently started to think more about my future and what God has planned for me and up popped the most common area of confusion for me.... Dating.
Up until not so long ago I would date girls with no other reason for dating than to be closer to a girl than when just friends. There was no thought of marriage, of a lifelong commitment to one person. I then became a christian and that changed things. Suddenly I was learning that we should date with the intent to marry the girl you date.... this changed things, I had never been good at making commitments, I tend to run from these situations. I guess subconsciously I was afraid of being hurt and hurting others, I protected my heart very carefully and this lead to me trusting no one. I became selfish... with my heart. I wanted to share my heart but struggled with it. It all lead to a very dark place within me that I dared not go..... I was insecure.
I would ask a girl out and then think
Does she really like me....
Am I good enough for her.....
Am I worthy to be loved.......
And the list goes on.
This lead me to my next question. What does God say about me. Who am I in Gods eyes?
I started reading and found scriptures that say I am chosen, I am worthy, I am precious, I was planned and wanted and LOVED.... What God loves me?
It was at this point that I realised that I was already loved and was loved before I was born, before I was conceived, before I was created, before the world existed. WOW!!!!!
But this meant that to some degree I was part of a relationship from the beginning of time and that without even doing anything there was someone who loved me for who I am and this changed the way I thought all together.
But the problem was did I love back? Do I even know how to love back? What does it mean to love back and how do I start? I unfortunately still don't have the answers to all these questions but I will keep searching. What I did realise though was that true love starts with God and that if I was to learn how to love someone I had to learn how God loves me. When you start to think about how God loves you it blows your mind. I know my past and what I have done and it scares me.... sometimes I don't even love me and what's even crazy is that God's love for us never fades never changes never ends and is endless.... WOW!!!!!
I want to know a love like that. I want to seek a love like that, I want to experience a love like that.
I thus believe that the troubles of dating can be overcome by looking beyond yourself and look towards the one who loved you before you existed and continues to love you....God. Learn from Him, and consult Him in the decisions you make... He has the experience.
Also remember that dating will not be painless and easy as this would not represent a love that makes oneself vulnerable to the other nor will it be a love that opens up to another.
I once heard a saying from a very good friend that went something like this: "Marry a good man, you can learn to love him" and this works both ways haha. Love is not only about the warm fuzzy feelings you get when you meet someone you like. Its about so much more.... I mean 1 Corinthians 13 says:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The whole chapter is so inspiring and makes you think about this thing that we call love and how average we have made it out to be..... I love my mom and I love ice-cream? What are we saying.......
So I guess the one thing that struck me was that we need to worry less about who we should choose... obviously the other person should want to date you otherwise thats considered stalking and that never ends well =b Date someone who shares the same values and morals look past the outer as this will fade and fail, look to the heart. I know that we need to be content and confident in the decision we make and love with all we have and even if it end up hurting you its better to have loved and hurt than to never have loved at all. Its a cliche of a saying but its kinda true.
I pray that you will meet the person that makes you smile and makes your heart skip a beat but remember that love is so much greater than those feelings and it ain't easy and it will take work.... lots of work.
God wants to show you how but you must get out of the boat.
Love like a child loves, with your whole heart.
Please post your experiences as we can all learn from each other and be inspired =)
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